How to Choose a Mediator

I have six recommendations for couples who are looking for a mediator.

  1. Ask about their training and if they are court-approved mediators.
  2. Ask about the number of meditations they’ve successfully completed.
  3. Interview more than one mediator and see who you feel is knowledgeable, keeps the playing field level and you feel comfortable talking to and is not judgmental.
  4. Look for a mediator that offers a flat fee for as many services as possible and a specific fee per hour for the time you are actually there in the office mediating. One of the big benefits of mediation is that it saves money so make sure your mediation cost is reasonable.
  5. Look for someone who specializes in divorce law so they can educate you about the law as it applies to your divorce. You don’t need a mediator who gives you directions but instead gives you information about your legal options.
  6. If you can find one, choose a mediator who has both a legal, therapy or child development background if your mediation involves children.


If I had to sum all this information up into one sentence, I would recommend that you check in with your gut during your first meeting with your mediator and ask yourself:

  • Does this person feel like a person who will be non-judgmental when you tell him or her what your goals and concerns are?
  • Does it feel like they genuinely want to help your family emerge from the divorce process as whole and healthy as possible?

Contact the Law Office of Marta J. Papa for a St. Louis divorce mediator with a straightforward, realistic, and organized approach to mediation.


  1. I like that you suggested interviewing divorce mediators to find one that is knowledgeable and can make you feel comfortable. My husband and I have decided to end our marriage due to irreconcilable differences. We want everything to end privately and in a more peaceful way to protect our children. We will do you tips on choosing a divorce mediator.

  2. You made a good point when you said I should interview more than one divorce mediator to know my options and choose the best one. I also like that you said I should ask them about their training and experience. My sister is currently looking for one because she’s separating from her husband of three years, so thanks for the tips!

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