The Importance of Self-Care for Those in the Midst of Divorce Proceedings

Posted on January 30, 2020 by Marta Papa

Family holidays and get-togethers are often a catalyst for divorcing parents to bring unnecessary personal distress upon themselves, each other, and, ultimately, their children.  Fortunately, the counter-defense to such a consequence is rather simple: the priority of healthy choices in self-care. A Story From My Files About the Need for Self-Care Some years ago, I was …

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Children’s Tools for Self-Esteem and Well-Being While Parents Divorce

Posted on January 27, 2020 by Marta Papa

Through divorce, your ultimate focus is to not allow your children to become the real causalities. If children feel compelled through the immaturity of their divorcing parents to either choose a side or are forced to feel protective of one parent over the other, then the responsibility for the children’s heightened current distress and even …

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Parents’ Best Behavioral Strategies In Co-Parenting A Divorce Decision

Posted on January 24, 2020 by Marta Papa

The most crucial change any married couple can make in their most intimate relationship is the decision to divorce. I have addressed how to create a script for the news of the divorce to help you most thoroughly and thoughtfully prepare in advance to reveal this devastating news to your children. Always remember that both parents share equal …

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What to Anticipate After Delivering the News of Divorce to Your Children

Posted on January 23, 2020 by Marta Papa

Your resolution to co-parent with maturity and your mutual insistence upon the welfare of your children at this time are commendable. To that end, you have an agreed-upon script and an appropriate setting in place. Now, it is time to prepare for the audience’s response to this family drama: your children’s reactions. Reactions Are Unique to Each Child …

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Maybe It’s Not a Marital Problem, Maybe It’s a Holiday Problem

Posted on January 10, 2020 by Marta Papa

I’ve discussed Holiday Marital False Alarm Syndrome which predictably arises each year in December throughout many households. That’s why it does not come as a surprise each January when my calendar is quickly filled with divorce consultations. However, some couples are surprised by the outcome of their appointment with me. By making a divorce mediation appointment and …

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Creating New Traditions During and After the Divorce Process

Posted on December 5, 2019 by Marta Papa

The holidays are rough for families going through divorce. They can bring up strong emotions including sadness and loneliness During and after divorce, old holiday traditions become obsolete and it becomes necessary to create new holiday memories. This creation of new traditions is particularly important for children because it will allow them to preserve positive …

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The Imperative of Self-Care for Divorcing Parents: Arranging Social Options During Holidays

Posted on November 30, 2019 by Marta Papa

A client of mine from some years ago, Mrs. X, chose a proactive stance in tackling her first Thanksgiving holiday alone after her divorce. Determined to not simmer in a sulk and drown herself in solitude with a bottle of dry Chardonnay, she chose to serve the impoverished instead.  Ironically, by nourishing the needy in …

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When, Where, and How to Deliver Your Divorce Script to Your Children

Posted on November 13, 2019 by Marta Papa

In my article Scripting the News of Your Divorce for your Children, I provide an idea of how to prepare the news of divorce to your kids. Having a script that stays on-message and is well-practiced is important because this content matters. What’s also important is the context in which that content is delivered. When? Where? …

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Scripting the News of Your Divorce for Your Children

Posted on November 13, 2019 by Marta Papa

Delivering the news of divorce to children is a difficult task. That’s why it’s imperative that divorcing parents have a pre-planned script outlined and rehearsed before breaking the news to their children. Though you may be hyperaware of your marital issues, your children may be entirely unaware that irreconcilable discord in your marriage has led …

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