Parents’ Best Behavioral Strategies In Co-Parenting A Divorce Decision
The most crucial change any married couple can make in their most intimate relationship is the decision to divorce.
I have addressed how to create a script for the news of the divorce to help you most thoroughly and thoughtfully prepare in advance to reveal this devastating news to your children. Always remember that both parents share equal billing in the starring roles of this drama– and it’s important to know when, where, and how you’re going to deliver this news together. In addition, each child is a key supporting player, whose individual needs must not only be anticipated but met, as well.
By making the decision to co-parent with integrity and maturity for your children’s sake, you have taken on the most challenging acting job of your parenting career. And as a divorce would not be desirable if the marriage were in a state of harmony, clearly there are heightened levels of anger, pain, sadness, and perhaps even acute mistrust between the two of you. Yet, it is essential to keep the conflict between the two of you and neither expose nor involve your children in your personal marital discord.
An excellent website parents can go to for support during these contentious times is www.UptoParents.org. This free site allows parents access to information they both can review and find common ground upon which to co-parent cooperatively, thus realizing their long term goal of protecting their children’s present and future well-being.
In addition to online sources, personal counseling is often not only helpful but advisable, as well. Co-parent counseling, divorce counseling, or individual, private counseling are all legitimate forms of assistance at this time. Although keeping a calm and collected countenance in the presence of your children is imperative for their health and well-being, maintaining a steady, calm demeanor between each other is perhaps neither likely nor sustainable. So admit your fragility at this time, acknowledge that deep sadness and unrelenting anger may be normative right now, but– above all else –seek the help you require to get through this winter of darkness for your children’s sake.
Need guidance with divorce? Contact the Law Office of Marta J Papa for a St. Louis divorce mediator with over 30 years of experience.